Spiral Notes

By Jeremy
Last week: 9-5
Season Total: 50-24
Against-the-Spread: 7-5
Season ATS: 47-25
Lock-of-the-Week: 4-1
I continue to dominate. My worst week of the year against the number, and I still finish 7-5. You might want to start planning my wing in Canton right now.
Baltimore(2-2) at Indianapolis(2-2)-5
I am enjoying the whole Colts suck era. But it just can’t last, can it? Peyton Manning couldn’t have his deal with the devil expire the same year as Tom Brady, could he? Colts 29, Ravens 17
Oakland(1-3) at New Orleans(2-3)-7.5
The Raiders have had two weeks to deal with a coaching change. One problem remains: they’re still the Raiders, and they’re still owned by Al ‘Bernie in Weekend at Bernie’s’ Davis. Saints 25, Raiders 21
Chicago(3-2) at Atlanta(3-2)+3
A very interesting NFC showdown. Are the Falcons for real? Is Kyle Orton for real? How many question marks can I include in one column. Bears 16, Falcons 15
St. Louis(0-4) at Washington(4-1)-13.5
Many NFL-types are listing Washington as the best team in the league. I still go with Tennessee, but the Zorn-stars are climbing fast. Its my take-it-to-Wendover-lock-of-the-week: Washington(-13.5) 41, Rams 18
Detroit(0-4) at Minnesota(2-3)-13.5
Its fun to dislike the Lions, but at some point, its kinda like repeatedly kicking a guy you’ve already beaten to death. Where’s the fun in that? Vikes 33, Loins 23
Cincinnati(0-5) at NY Jets(2-2)-6
Brett Favre is leading the league in passer rating. Which just goes to show, Ted Thompson is the leading asshole in the state. Jets 24, Bengals 17
Carolina(4-1) at Tampa Bay(3-2)-1.5
This is one of those head-scratching lines. The Buccs favored against the Panthers, with a questionable QB situation? That means gamblers everywhere are about to take a bath. Buccs 17, Panthers 12
Miami(2-2) at Houston(0-4)-3
Who knows in this game? The Phins can’t run the Eric Weddle offense to victory in three straight, can they? Texans 25, Phish 19(OT)
Jacksonville(2-3) at Denver(4-1)-3.5
The Jags are in trouble. They are falling further behind the Titans as the season goes. A couple more losses, and they could be in danger of missing the wild-card as well. Broncs 31, Jags 22
Green Bay(2-3) at Seattle(1-3)-2
This is how much I believe in Aaron Rodgers. Even without Hasselbeck: Hawks 17, Pack 15
Philadelphia(2-3) at San Francisco(2-3)+5
The Eagles went from being a top-five team in the league(week one), to a top-five most overrated team. Upset Special #1: Niners 14, Eagles 12
Dallas(4-1) at Arizona(3-2)+6
Tony Romo may be banging Jessica Simpson, but he’s still T.O.’s bitch. As long as he understands that, everything is cool. Cowboys 37, Cards 27
New England(3-1) at San Diego(2-3)-6
You’re really going to bet against Bellichick, against Norv Turner, with a bye-week to prepare? Upset Special #2: Pats 34, Bolts 33
NY Giants(4-0) at Cleveland(1-3)+8
This is a mismatch in every possible category. The only place the Browns have an edge in is the most roided-up player(Brady Quinn). Giants 17, Browns 6