Opening weekend soccer futbol thought pieces

We're three days deep into the Wrold Cup. Hooray. With the first weekend of darby pitch action in the rearview, let's take a look back and review some of the things I want to talk about whilst ignoring boring shit. On to it.

1. America, fuck yeah
In a game that should've been 5-0 for the England side if not for Timmy Howard, somehow those crafty Yanks willed their way to a Revolutionary draw for one point. It bodes well that they can produce little if any offense for much of the match and still get a tie. There was the fluke goal and the Ed-Bud's shot off the post in the second half. I can't remember much else. At least they get two weaklings to figure shit out after the big result.

2. German craftiwork
Germany made the 'Roos look like a pile of hot garbage on the pitch. That's how you play in form. If I remember correctly, and I do since I just looked it up, I said ze Germans could even come in second in what looked like a dangerous group. After hanging a 4-nil spot on the Ozzies, the Germs are looking pretty safe unless they absolutely shit the bed.

3. Maradona is fat and awesome
If only he weren't old and hefty. He looked like he wanted to play out there for Argentina, and quite frankly they could've used some of his finishing capability in a weak 1-0 win. Every time the ball went to the sideline, Maradona was happy to do a little dribbling or give it a little scoop to a waiting player. It's like he was auditioning or something. Don't be surprised if he subs himself in their next contest.

4. Always bet on black
Respect to Mexico's black jerseys, and not so much to the South Africans blowing their vuvuzelas for 18 straight hours in the Mexico-South Africa match. It's like a swarm of bees, or locusts, or a small prop plane. Whatever you fancy, it grows tiresome.

Mexico lacked form in finishing, and The Boys The Boys almost pulled off the shocker. I'm half glad they didn't, because there probably would've been at least some light rioting on the streets of L.A. if they had. Though I was in Santa Monica at the time, so I would've been fine. Racist.

5. Score a little
I mean, come on, I know goals are a little more scarce in the World Cup, but what the hell? I'm screwed in a lot of my pick'ems because I didn't have many 1-0 or 1-1 games. Plonker alert. I guess I'll just have to wait until Brazil are on the pitch. Yes, Brazil are instead of Brazil is. That's when you know you've got the darby pitch fever.

Top Dirty Tackle links of the week:
- The ol' elephant traffic jam trick
- You will be Terminated. I wonder if they'll watch Predator before their next game. If so, world be warned.
- He's a man, he's 30!
- David Beckham matchface