As a woke up this morning, I knew something had gone terribly wrong. I just didn’t feel right.
You know the feeling you get the day after a long night of drinking when you accidentally let a chick with herpes blow you? Yeah, me neither, but I would imagine would feel a lot like this.
I turn on ESPN and the words coming out of the analysts’ mouth hit me like a ton of bricks. The words? “Brett Favre has retired.”
Misery coursed through me as I buried my head into my hands. I knew this day would come at some point, I just thought he could last at least one more season.
My roommate walked out into the living room and immediately knew something was up.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
Struggling to hold back tears, I told him the bad news. He paced through the apartment, joining in my sorrow.
“It feels like somebody just died,” he said.
“I think somebody just did…the Pack,” I responded.
What else can you say when the face of a team, nay, an organization, no fuck that, an era, decides to call it quits when it’s quite obvious he still one of the best at what he does?
I know what the Bill Simmonses and Jim Romes of the world will say. They’ll say that it was a long time coming and that he should have called it quits three years ago.
Screw those guys. Yeah, he’s erratic at times and makes downright fucking stupid decisions at others, but that’s what made him so fun to watch. You never knew when he was going to chuck a 70-yard bomb to Greg Jennings or throw an underhanded softball pass five yards past the line of scrimmage (that actually happened once).
His improvisation was second to none. And don’t bring up that pussy Tony Romo either. He is not even close to being on the same level as Brett. That’s like comparing Virgil to the Ultimate Warrior…it’s just stupid.
It may be frustrating for some to watch the Pack on TV because the announcers’ clearly want to fellate him, but he deserves the smoke being blown up his ass.
He never gave a shit that he owns basically every passing record known to man. He just kept putting on that goofy grin and running around like a mormon missionary paying a visit to his first brothel. He made the game fun to watch, even for those who weren’t necessarily Cheeseheads.
It was impossible to hate him. I have an cousin who’s a Bears fan and he hates the Pack, but still likes Brett.
How can you hate a guy that just wants to win and isn't concerned about setting records?
Actually, it's probably a good thing he doesn't care about records because he also passed George Blanda on the all-time interception this season. What did Favre have to say about that? "You can't get all the good ones." In all reality, Favre was easier to pick off than Willie Mays Hays in Major League, but that's probably his way of keeping things interesting. After all, you can't just blow everybody out or people will hate you/call you the New England Patriots.
Favre's humble, team-first attitude never changed. It was clear that he wanted some help at the wide receiver position before last season started, but when management blew a potential Randy Moss trade, he still came back and led his team to the NFC Championship.
He has always practiced with the same fervor as he plays with in the games. He throws those same 100-mph, whistling fastballs and celebrates touchdown passes with a matching intensity.
Growing up in Wisconsin, all I knew in my youth was Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. Sure, there were other things that mattered when I was five, like my stuffed animal Bubbie Wubbie (which my asshole brothers all tortured mercilessly…seriously. One time they stuck a firecracker in his ass and blew it apart), GI Joes and PB&J sandwiches, but none were bigger in my life than Favre and the Pack.
I was a train wreck this morning after I heard the announcement. I was so distraught that I seriously considered taking the day off, even though I had a midterm test. I called my dad up and asked him if it’s possible to request all flags to be reduced to half-mast. I called all of my bros and reminisced about the good times.
But those times are no more.
Sure, the Pack may be bursting at the seams with young talent and may have a pedophile named Aaron Rodgers who is capable of filling in at starting quarterback, but it just won’t be the same without Brett.
It’s going to be a rough night for me tonight America. I’m going to go out and do the only thing a Wisconsinite can do when his beloved childhood hero calls it quits…get royally shithoused, probably piss my pants and cry myself to sleep.
It’s the most fitting tribute a Green Bay Packers fan can give.
You know the feeling you get the day after a long night of drinking when you accidentally let a chick with herpes blow you? Yeah, me neither, but I would imagine would feel a lot like this.
I turn on ESPN and the words coming out of the analysts’ mouth hit me like a ton of bricks. The words? “Brett Favre has retired.”
Misery coursed through me as I buried my head into my hands. I knew this day would come at some point, I just thought he could last at least one more season.
My roommate walked out into the living room and immediately knew something was up.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
Struggling to hold back tears, I told him the bad news. He paced through the apartment, joining in my sorrow.
“It feels like somebody just died,” he said.
“I think somebody just did…the Pack,” I responded.
What else can you say when the face of a team, nay, an organization, no fuck that, an era, decides to call it quits when it’s quite obvious he still one of the best at what he does?
I know what the Bill Simmonses and Jim Romes of the world will say. They’ll say that it was a long time coming and that he should have called it quits three years ago.
Screw those guys. Yeah, he’s erratic at times and makes downright fucking stupid decisions at others, but that’s what made him so fun to watch. You never knew when he was going to chuck a 70-yard bomb to Greg Jennings or throw an underhanded softball pass five yards past the line of scrimmage (that actually happened once).
His improvisation was second to none. And don’t bring up that pussy Tony Romo either. He is not even close to being on the same level as Brett. That’s like comparing Virgil to the Ultimate Warrior…it’s just stupid.
It may be frustrating for some to watch the Pack on TV because the announcers’ clearly want to fellate him, but he deserves the smoke being blown up his ass.
He never gave a shit that he owns basically every passing record known to man. He just kept putting on that goofy grin and running around like a mormon missionary paying a visit to his first brothel. He made the game fun to watch, even for those who weren’t necessarily Cheeseheads.
It was impossible to hate him. I have an cousin who’s a Bears fan and he hates the Pack, but still likes Brett.
How can you hate a guy that just wants to win and isn't concerned about setting records?
Actually, it's probably a good thing he doesn't care about records because he also passed George Blanda on the all-time interception this season. What did Favre have to say about that? "You can't get all the good ones." In all reality, Favre was easier to pick off than Willie Mays Hays in Major League, but that's probably his way of keeping things interesting. After all, you can't just blow everybody out or people will hate you/call you the New England Patriots.
Favre's humble, team-first attitude never changed. It was clear that he wanted some help at the wide receiver position before last season started, but when management blew a potential Randy Moss trade, he still came back and led his team to the NFC Championship.
He has always practiced with the same fervor as he plays with in the games. He throws those same 100-mph, whistling fastballs and celebrates touchdown passes with a matching intensity.
Growing up in Wisconsin, all I knew in my youth was Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. Sure, there were other things that mattered when I was five, like my stuffed animal Bubbie Wubbie (which my asshole brothers all tortured mercilessly…seriously. One time they stuck a firecracker in his ass and blew it apart), GI Joes and PB&J sandwiches, but none were bigger in my life than Favre and the Pack.
I was a train wreck this morning after I heard the announcement. I was so distraught that I seriously considered taking the day off, even though I had a midterm test. I called my dad up and asked him if it’s possible to request all flags to be reduced to half-mast. I called all of my bros and reminisced about the good times.
But those times are no more.
Sure, the Pack may be bursting at the seams with young talent and may have a pedophile named Aaron Rodgers who is capable of filling in at starting quarterback, but it just won’t be the same without Brett.
It’s going to be a rough night for me tonight America. I’m going to go out and do the only thing a Wisconsinite can do when his beloved childhood hero calls it quits…get royally shithoused, probably piss my pants and cry myself to sleep.
It’s the most fitting tribute a Green Bay Packers fan can give.
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2 comments:
coincidence that he retired a couple days after Randy Moss re-upped with the Pats, after farvre lobbied for him again?
Peculiar one would even say....
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