I have a couple of things to bitch about in sports and in life, so bear with me while I digress through topics that have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
You cannot win in fantasy football if you play in more than a couple leagues. It will make you hate yourself and every single player in the NFL for one reason or another. I'm in six leagues right now and every week I feel worse about my knowledge of football. If Peyton Manning wins me a matchup one week, he will also undoubtedly beat me in another. I call this the Wes Welker Rule. That motherfucker has single-handedly beaten me at least six times this year. Fuck him.
Learn from me. Don't do this. Play a couple money leagues and that's it.
Let's see here, what else is on the docket. Well here and here are a couple funny gameday clips that don't really get old. And here's a clip from that crazy ol' fucker Billy Packer. I would be morally remiss if I didn't include the big gay guy Rick Majerus.
College basketball started, and nobody gives a shit yet so I won't be mentioning that.
I can't go without putting up my new nephew so here's that.
Oh, and here are my Top and Bottom Five, which I hope to do with some regularity in the coming weeks. Granted, I've had ideas like this before that trail off after a couple weeks because I have no will to continue, but I have a pretty good feeling about these little tidbits. They've got a great vibe. Good stuff.
Top Five-
1. My nephew Oscar. Big ups to God, Ro and Lila for making that happen. He's a cute little focker.
2. TCU. As much as it hurts me, I've got to give it up to our conference brethren. They are straight up waxing their competition's assholes and making it look like fun in the process. I should get in on that action.
3. Team Sex Appeal. My big-money fantasy football team is riding high, winning five of its last six games. Unless Stephen Haushka somehow connects for 10 field goals, I'm looking at second place in the standings.
4. Soccer fans. I've been watching a lot of World Cup qualifiers and Champions league matches and those guys are rabid. I need to get out to Europe or South Africa or maybe even Estadio Azteca down in Mexico City sometime to see what real fans look like.
5. Cincinnati Bungals. I'm not really sure how this happened but good for the state of Ohio, who hasn't had that much to look forward to in the arena of football for a few years now. Come to think of it, they're really the thing Ohio has going for it with the impending 'Bron departure so congrats on that.
Bottom Five-
1. Utah Football. What. The. Fuck. I knew it was going to be a tall order to beat the Horned Frogs -- -- but I at least thought my Utes would put up an effort. What was surprising, at least to me, was that it was the staples of a Whittingham-coached team - defense, winning the turnover battle - that proved to be their downfall. I understand the Frogs are talented, but protect the damn ball and tackle. Those are hallmarks of winning football teams. Pretty pathetic showing overall.
2. MLS. So I went to the L.A. Galaxy vs. Houston Dynamo MLS semifinal the other day and the power went out, not once, but twice within an hour span. That's what kind of hodge podge shit we're working with in the U.S. and we wonder why we can't compete with the big boys in soccer or futbol or whatever the fuck we're calling it. I'm sure there's an adequate explanation, but I don't care enough to listen.
3. Bill Belichick. Not to go all Seth Myers on you Bill, but really? You really went for it on fourth-and-two from your own 28-yard line with a six point lead? With two minutes left? Really? I mean, you know you can't press the reset button after the play, right Bill? Did you really think you are so cutting edge in your strategy that that would work out for you? Really?
4. Notre Dame, Charlie Weis. I work with so many Notre Dame backers that are really in-your-face about their Domers so I was hoping Jesus and Bill Wannstedt would smite them back to Pope I against Pitt. And they did. Thank you Jesus and Bill Wannstedt. Also, my dumb shit cousin now owes me a cool hundo because it's mathematically impossible now for Weis and Co. to win 10 games. Suck it Domers and Hansi. I can't believe I got through that without even saying ham sandwich.
5. Tapout shirts (and the people that wear them). We get it. You watch UFC and they wear the shirts so, therefore, you think you can kick anybody's ass. You are stupid and wrong. In fact, I would go so far as to wager that there is an opposing corollary reflecting how tough and uncool people are when they wear Tapout gear. It's science. It's boring, but it's a part of my life. Seriously though Tapout fraternity boys, go fuck yourself with a cactus, needles pointing inwards. You suck.
*Bonus. 'Friends' who puke on your bed. Fuck those guys.
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1 comment:
codies, nice works on the death star logo. that could/should be our new banner for the site. If you can make that happen, you are a fun html wizards.
rorys
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