Spiral Notes

By Jeremy
Last week: 10-5
Season Total: 21-10
Against the spread: 10-5
Season ATS: 20-11
Lock-of-the-week: 1-1
I am unstoppable. A difficult week, and I just killed it. Now this week will be even tougher. The home team is favored in every game except the Dal-GB tilt. The picks should score well, but it will be real tough to nail it against the number. Also I hate espn. Their bizarre insider line threw me off my game and ruined the lock of the week. But I have adjusted, and I am ready. Bring it on bitches.
Kansas City(0-2) at Atlanta(1-1)
Its official. K.C. is the worst team in the NFL and would lose straight up to USC. Or to BYU in Provo. Falcons 36, Chefs 20
Tampa Bay(1-1) at Chicago(1-1)
A tricky game to pick. Good running and good defense but no QB at home vs. good running and good defense plus decent(possibly gay) QB. Not sure. Bears 30, Buccs 25
Miami(0-2) at New England(2-0)
Another tricky one. That’s a lot of points for Matt Castle to cover. Fuck it, he’ll do it anyways. Pats 20, Phins 0
Houston(0-1) at Tennessee(2-0)
What do you do with the Titans? Their QB is suicidal, but they just keep on winning. Bizarre. Its my take-it-to-Wendover-lock-of-the-week: Titans(-5) 39, Texans 21
Oakland(1-1) at Buffalo(2-0)
So the Bills are undefeated. Really? They picked up a big win on the road last week so they may actually be good. But they are giving up a lot of points in this one. We’ll give them the win, but not the cover. Bills 30, Raiders 29
Carolina(2-0) at Minnesota(0-2)
The impatient Vikings have already switched QB’s. I would call that a bad move if the first quaterback wasn’t Tavaris ‘functioning retard’ Jackson. They are overdue for that first win. Vikes 32, Panthers 30
Cincinnati(0-2) at NY Giants(2-0)
Another huge line for this early in the season. I say Carson Palmer will stop playing like Carson Daly and keep it within range. Giants 32, Bengals 20
Arizona(2-0) at Washington(1-1)
Did I read that right? Are the Arizona Cards really 2-and-0? Holy shit. That can’t last. Washington 35, Cards 25
Detroit(0-2) at San Francisco(1-1)
What in the name of J.T. O’Sullivan is going on here? The Niners came from behind to pick up a win and ruin a parlay for me. Assholes. Well, if they can win on the road, they have to be able to handle the jackass Lions at home. Niners 44, Loins 33
New Orleans(1-1) at Denver(2-0)
This could be and should be the best game of the week. The Broncs are tough, especially at home, but the Saints are too good to be 1-2. Upset Special: Saints 27, Broncs 21(OT)
Jacksonville(0-2) at Indianapolis(1-1)
Who do you pick in this one? The Colts, who’ve looked like shit so far? Or the Jags, who’ve looked like dog-shit? I guess I go with the dude with the contract with satan. Colts 39, Jags 24
St. Louis(0-2) at Seattle(0-2)
Neither of these teams can be this bad, can they? Yes. Hawks 26, Rams 9
Pittsburgh(2-0) at Philadelphia(1-1)
The battle for Pennsylvania. Kinda sounds like presidential election coverage, doesn’t it? Eagles 35, Steelers 30
Cleveland(0-2) at Baltimore(1-0)
An extra week off for the Ravens will work wonders. Their rookie QB needed a little extra time to get his shit together. Ravens 34, Browns 28(OT)
Dallas(2-0) at Green Bay(2-0)
The Packers have to be pissed about being the only home dog. Does it matter? Not with ocho-uno out there. Cowboys 20, Pack 12
NY Jets(1-1) at San Diego(0-2)
They should put this game on Sunday night just so we can enjoy the John Madden Favre-boner one more time. The Chargers won’t lose on the last play for a third straight week. Bolts 33, Jets 28
Agree/Disagree? Blow me.