Spiral Notes

By Jeremy
Last week: 11-5
Against the spread: 10-6
Lock-of-the-week: 1-0
Well, I am on a roll again. Who knew? Like Andy at 3AM at the BJ tables, I cannot be stopped. Okay, okay, so the picks won’t be so hot this week. Shit, I’ve never seen so many home dogs in one week. That is not good for gamblers. But whatever, we’ll plow through.
NY Giants(1-0) at St. Louis(0-1)
In case you didn’t notice from week one, the Rams are shit. The Giants don’t seem to have that Super Bowl hangover like I expected. Giants 33, Rams 18
New Orleans(1-0) at Washington(0-1)
The Saints are undefeated and seem to be the new trendy pick. But watch out for the Washington, they always seem to camp around 8-8, which means they may be due this week. Saints 27, Washington 24(OT)
Buffalo(1-0) at Jacksonville(0-1)
Random stat: Black quarterbacks were 2-4 in week one, and one of the wins was by Vince Young. Not a good sign for Jag fans and David Gerrard. Luckily their defense is pretty fuckin’ good. Jags 38, Bills 24
Green Bay(1-0) at Detroit(0-1)
The Pack and Aaron Rodgers will be exposed sooner rather than later. Just maybe not against the shit-storm that is the Lions. Pack 30, Loins 12
San Francisco(0-1) at Seattle(0-1)
Bold prediction: Alex Smith will be waived by the 49ers before I get a job. Its my take-it-to-Mesquite-lock-of-the-week: Seahawks(-1.5) 27, Niners 12
San Diego(0-1) at Denver(1-0)
Of all the home dogs, the Broncs might be the most tempting. But I can’t see the Bolts at 0-and-2, that is just too much for me to handle. Chargers 20, Broncs 18
New England(1-0) at NY Jets(1-0)
If Brady had got hurt in this game, the Jets would’ve ran away. But give Billichick a week to prepare for Brett ‘colorblind’ Favre, and you’ll see about three interceptions. Plus, you’re about to see why Randy Moss and not Tom Brady should have been the MVP last year. Pats 24, Jets 17
Pittsburgh(1-0) at Cleveland(0-1)
Apparently the Steelers are pretty good. What else is new? But they always play close games in the dawg’ pound. The Browns are that big of a pain in the ass. Steelers 28, Browns 24
Indianapolis(0-1) at Minnesota(0-1)
Peyton Manning could be 0-2. You can probably see my boner from there. Too bad they are playing Tavaris ‘couldn’t start for U.S.C.’ Jackson. Colts 13, Vikes 6
Chicago(1-0) at Carolina(1-0)
With these two teams’ big wins in week one, coupled with Tom Brady deciding to take 15 weeks off to bang Giselle, the balance of power may just have shifted to the NFC. Hard to believe. Upset Special #1: Panthers 37, Bears 31(OT)
Tennessee(1-0) at Cincinnati(0-1)
Vince Young’s mom just wants us to leave him alone. Well fuck her. But if the Bengals don’t get Ochocinco the ball, it doesn’t matter. Titans 10, Bengals 0
Oakland(0-1) at Kansas City(0-1)
Is it too early to declare a game the toilet bowl? Because this is it. Chefs 34, Raiders 31
Atlanta(1-0) at Tampa Bay(0-1)
Its tempting to go with the young and sexy Falcons. But, I’m not. Sorry about that. Tampa is too good, even if their QB is Jeff ‘not that there’s anything wrong with that’ Garcia. Buccs 15, Falcons 7
Baltimore(1-0) at Houston(0-1)
The Ravens could be good. But watch the film. They are starting a rookie QB who just isn’t there yet. The Texans can’t be that bad two weeks in a row, can they? Upset Special #2: Texans 29, Ravens 28
Miami(0-1) at Arizona(1-0)
Pennington actually gives the Phish a chance in shitty matchups like this one. But don’t fuck with Edge against his hometown team. Cards 35, Phins 26
Philadelphia(1-0) at Dallas(1-0)
See Buffalo at Jacksonville analysis. Boys 42, Eagles 26
Agree/Disagree? I don’t give a shit.