Spiral Notes

By Jeremy
Last week: 9-7
Against-the-Spread: 7-9
Season total: 28-20
ATS: 20-24
Lock-of-the-Week: 1-2
Well, the picks have sucked all year, and I'm still hoping for a bounce-back. But to be fair to me, it has been a wacky NFL season. Lets see: the league MVP is Michael Vick, the best receiver in football is a white dude from BYU named Austin Collie, and the undefeated teams are the Chiefs, Bears, and the Steelers minus their quarterback. Yup, pretty fucking weird.
Cincinnati(2-1) -4 at Cleveland(0-3)
Here's a news flash: The Browns are shitty. Bengals 14, Browns 3
Seattle(2-1) -2 at St. Louis(1-2)
I have a feeling that the Seahawks aren't going to win on the road all year. Time to test the theory. Hawks 16, Rams 10
San Francisco(0-3) at Atlanta(2-1) -7
The 49ers, Alex Smith, and possibly Mike Singletary are done for if they lose this game. So, no pressure or anything. Falcons 14, Niners 7
Baltimore(2-1) at Pittsburgh(3-0) -2
The last game without Big Ben. Turns out, they didn't need him. Steelers 13, Ravens 9
Denver(1-2) at Tennessee(2-1) -7
Te-bow! Te-bow! Te-bow! Its almost time, we are one and a half big losses away from the Chosen One's insertion into the Broncos lineup. I'm pumped. Titans 12, Broncs 0
Detroit(0-3) at Green Bay(2-1) -15
The Lions are improved, just not enough to win in Lambo. Pack 28, Loins 10
Carolina(0-3) at New Orleans(2-1) -14
This is actually a tough call, with the way the Saints have been mediocre in all three of their games. Wait, are the Panthers starting Touchdown Jimmy again? Here's your suicide pool pick: Saints 24, Panthers 6
NY Jets(2-1) -6 at Buffalo(0-3)
To say the Bills are shitty is a slap right in the face to other shitty things. Jets 27, Bills 10
Indianapolis(2-1) -9 at Jacksonville(1-2)
It could be Jack Del Rio's farewell game with the Jags. Watch Collie drop another 11 catch/171 yard/2 TD day on thier asses. He's gotta represent for all the mormon-folk at home watching him on conference weekend. Colts 31, Jags 17
Houston(2-1) -4 at Oakland(1-2)
Don't blame the Texans for that Dallas beatdown last week. That was more about the Cowboys declaring their non-death than anything Houston did. Texans 34, Raiders 26
Washington(1-2) at Philadelphia(2-1) -7
Here's the big one everyone's been waiting for: McNabb vs. Vick. Donovan vs. the Eagles asshole fans. Yeah guys, sorry about taking you to the NFC Title Game five straight years, have fun becoming the Bills of the NFC when Vick signs elsewhere next year. But for now: Eagles 14, Washington 6
Arizona(2-1) at San Diego(1-2) -8
Sorry, just don't believe in Phil Rivers, Norv Turner, or the Chargers in general. The Cards defense will give them fits, as long as Derek Anderson/Max Hall don't have a terrible day. Its my first upset special, but also my Take-it-to-Wendover-Lock-of-the-Week: Cards 20, Bolts 15
Chicago(3-0) at NY Giants(1-2) -4
The Bears just seem to be making all of the plays, unlike the Giants, who are finding a way to fuck everything up. This game reminds me of the 1995 Kanab High School Homecoming Game, so watch out for a late punt return touchdown by Casey Glover with an obvious clip that goes uncalled. Upset Special #2: Bears 7, Giants 6
New England(2-1) -1 at Miami(2-1)
I can't call three straight upsets, can I? Yes. I. Can. Upset Special #3: Phins 30, Pats 29
Agree/Disagree? Post below