Thursday, February 25, 2010

IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!

It looks like that Triple OG Admiral Ackbar is making a comeback. Everybody's favorite Mon Calamari may be returning to the battlefield as the leader of the Rebels, but this time he'll be leading his troops at The Grove instead of Endor.

Word out of the Southeastern Conference is that Ackbar is the frontrunner in Ole Miss' new mascot hunt. The Rebels are replacing Colonel Reb for a number of reasons, but mainly because he dislikes colored folk.



Here is a link to the story


This is the best idea to come out of the South since...um...well, I guess this would be the first good idea out of the South. Still impressive nonetheless.

It got me thinking...what other Star Wars characters could find their way into sports?

Chewbacca- Chewy is too much of a fan favorite not to be a mascot. There has been much debate about this, but I think the Wookie be best suited as the Stanford mascot. Considering the proximity of the Redwoods and their likeness to Chewbacca's homeworld of Kashyyyk, it feels only right.

Lando Calrissian- What school/city would be more appropo than UNLV? It is well known that Lando is a bit of a gambler/deviant and what better place to soothe those vices than in Sin City? He represents the spirit of Las Vegas better than any Rebel ever could.

Jar Jar Binks-BYU. Do I even need a reason? Ok, fine. BYU is fucking stupid and never should have been created. Just like Jar Jar Binks. "Me-sa blanketed racism!"

Jabba The Hutt- UC Santa Cruz. Its current mascot is a slug, so why not change it to the most recognizable slug of all time?

Darth Vader- What sports team embodies the Dark Side more than the New England Patriots? Their Eddie Guerrero 'Cheat To Win' philosophy has risen them up through the ranks over the past decade much like the Sith lord.

Storm Trooper- The ground work is already laid with their multiple white-out promos. Penn State gets the nod.



Boba Fett- Oakland Raiders. The criminal ways of their fans and players alike make them a perfect fit for Fett.

Yoda- It's small, tenacious and does a lot of unnecessary acrobatics when it fights. Yes, I'm talking about the North Texas Mean Green.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't emphasize just how awesome this is. There are mitigating factors that I'm sure will keep it from happening (George Lucas/trademarking, the state of Mississippi) but my fingers are crossed.

Robagger said...

Chewbacca: Oregon/Oregon St./Washington/Wash. St., more similar to Kashyyk. Bigfoot connection.

Darth Vader: The Raiders, or maybe the Emporer.

Jabba the Hutt: The Packers, for fan interest in beer and cheese curds.

Robagger said...

admiral ackbar is one ugly looking motherfucker. Which makes this all the more awesome.