Super Bowl XLIV Preview

As the only Brunner who accurately guessed the winners from the AFC and NFC Championships last week, I figured it was my obligation to write a preview for the big game. And what better way to break down Super Bowl XLIV than to give everybody the inside track on the sports bets you should be making prior to the game (obligatory note: Last week I went to Vegas and lost more money than I ever have in one trip to Nevada so you may want to go opposite of every pick I make. Seriously...it's a good way to make money).

COIN FLIP
This is obviously the most important part of the Super Bowl. Tails will be the correct call but some stupid Saints lineman will fuck it all up and pick Heads. Idiot. Peyton and Co. will take the ball, cementing the win right off the bat.


1ST QUARTER LINE (Indy -1/2)
Manning will not see a lurking Darren Sharper while throwing a quick slant to wide receiver Austin Collie on one of the first series of the game, which will result in a fibula-breaking collision for Collie. Austin (Whiny Little Bitch) Collie will cry for a trainer, but nobody will attend to him because he is a douche and nobody likes him....sorry, I had to get one BYU dig in. I'm taking the Saints here. Saints 10, Colts 7


2ND QUARTER LINE (Colts -3 1/2)
Colts are going to pass a lot. Saints are going to pass a lot. Rory is going to suck a lot (of dick). Heyy-oooo!!! Colts 17, Saints 13

3RD QUARTER LINE (Colts -4 1/2)
The Saints are going to channel their inner good team and rally past the Hooves for the time being to make it interesting. Saints 23, Colts 17


Final (Colts -5 1/2)
The Colts are favored by anywhere between 3 1/2 and 5 1/2 depending on where you look. As you can see I like the Saints early, but Peyton will rally the troops late and connect with Pierre Garcon for a late go-ahead touchdown. Final: Colts 30, Saints 26


OVER/UNDER (56 1/2)
I'm straddling the line like a $5 hooker, but I've got to go under here. Even two of the best offenses in the NFL are going to have a hard time scoring that many points against two decent defenses.


FIRST TEAM TO SCORE
Saints. My guess is a 14-yard swing pass to Reggie Bush.


LAST TEAM TO SCORE
Peyton to Garcon for the W.


FIRST TEAM TO PUNT
Colts.

INTERCEPTIONS (More than 2)
There may very well be 100 passing attempts in this game but neither quarterback is named Brett Favre. Ziinggg! I'm going with the Under.


FUMBLES (More than 2)
Both coaches are going to harp on ball security this week, but it won't matter. Freeney/Mathis will force at least one. The Saints' D will force multiple. Over.


TEAM TO HAVE LONGEST TOUCHDOWN
Brees is going to connect with Robert Meacham for 60 or so yards at some point. Know this. Saints.


WILL THERE BE A SAFETY
Absolutely not.


WHICH HALF WILL SCORE MORE POINTS
First half.


TEAM TO COMMIT 1ST TURNOVER
I'm going to go with the Colts here.


FIRST KIM KARDASHIAN SIGHTING
This is actually something you can bet on online. I kind of want to do it just for shits. Anyways, my guess is 6:12 in the 2nd quarter.

FIRST TEAM TO USE COACHES CHALLENGE
Saints. Sean Payton pulls the trigger in ill-advised situations.


1ST TEAM TO CALL TIMEOUT
Saints. And no, I don't have a reason.


TEAM TO GET THE 1ST PENALTY
Colts. No, No (Dikembe Mutombo finger wag).