All-Star Goalies
All-Star Defenders
Considering the amount of crap goalies and uber-talented middies and forwards in this World Cup, you can expect a metric shit ton of goals in South Africa.
So it's only appropriate that I give a Top 10 Best Midfielders and Forwards of the World Cup instead of just a Top 5. Enjoy.
10. Arjen Robben - Netherlands
This Dutch Deutschbag single-handedly saved Bayern Munich in the Champions League semifinal against Lyon on Tuesday. With his team down a man, Robben banged out a pretty bender (that's what she said) through the middle. The journeyman does his fair share of Kobe impressions, taking shots when he should be passing, but he should be solid in the middle for the stoners from Holland.
9. Michael Essien - Ghana
The Chelsea middie is the sole reason Ghana beat the Czechs and Yanks and advanced out of group play in the 2006 World Cup. Simply put, he's a lockdown defender in the middle. He is almost impossible to beat, covering massive amounts of space. He's soccer's version of Darrell Revis. Offensively, he loves the distance shots
8. Michael Ballack - Germany
This Kraut has been around a coon's age (is that racist?), but remains productive in his old age (33). The Germ marksman has scored 42 goals in 97 national team appearances in his career and remains one of the more volatile threats on the field regardless of the venue. BALLACK!!!
7. Franck Ribery - France
Franckly, Ribery had a serious lapse in judgement in Bayern Munich's recent 1-0 win against Lyon at home in the Champions League semifinal, sloppily sliding into an attacker's ankle and getting slapped with a red card. The pint-sized (5-7, 137) midfielder is normally a bit more thoughtful in his actions, preferring the attacking right side of the midfield. Despite his size, Ribery doesn't shy away from contact and tends to go right at defenders when on the attack.
6. Andres Iniesta - Spain
Iniesta is the most creative playmaker in Spain's midfield. He's Chris Paul to Xavi's Deron Williams. Considered by some to be the best passer in the world today, the Barcelona midfielder is wily with his ball movements and can slot his dimes into tight windows than Peyton Manning. Iniesta is everything you want in a player. He's decisive and plays through basically any injury (unheard of in the world of soccer where one guy is a bigger pussy than the next), with his only real fault being he's too unselfish.
5. Cesc Fabregas - Spain
Despite being one of the most prolific middies in the game today, the Arsenal mastermind is a bit of a baby on the national stage. For some Godforsaken reason, Cesc still does not start for Spain, but I have a feeling that will change and he will be a crucial factor in this World Cup. Like Jose Oquendo, Fabregas is a jack of all trades on the darby. He's a nimble dribbler, passer, shooter and can hold up just fine on the defensive end. His only fault is that he is prone to turning el futbol over a little too often.
4. Stephen Gerrard - England
Considering the amount of drama surrounding the English national team this World Cup, Gerrard is a breathe of fresh air. While most of his countrymen are out philandering and fraternizing with the local harlots, Gerrard is busy reading poetry and breaking ankles. Well...maybe just that last part. Seriously though, the Gerrard/Lampard combo has long been feared on the national level and with all of the distractions facing the Red Coats, Gerrard will have to come up big for his homeland in June.
3. Xavi - Spain
Yes, I think Spain really is talented enough to warrant three top-10 selections from its midfield. Hell, they probably deserve four as I am leaving my boy David Silva off this list. Whether that actually means La Roja Furia is going to do anything this World Cup is another topic entirely. The team's not-so-flattering yet entirely appropriate nickname is the "World's Biggest Underachievers". To shake that title, Xavi is going to have to be in top form as the point man for Spain's offensive attack. Once X to the Avi has the ball, good luck taking it from him.
2. Christiano Ronaldo - Portugal
Real Madrid lists the
1. Kaka - Brazil
Seriously, who the fuck else am I going to put here? Kaka has been rock solid for Real Madrid since being traded for a satchel or two of euros (95 mil...that's all) in June of last year. His nimble movement going forward and one of a kind passing can only matched when I'm on the ol' PS3. Actually, I'm better. But still, he's pretty damn good.
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